Active Parents vs. Absent Parents

You truly don’t know responsibility until you have a kid. Honestly, your life is not your own anymore. Once you have kids, your time, attention, thoughts, plans, and everything else associated with you being a human being is transferred to your kids.

I will be the first to admit – being a mom/parent is HARD. It’s hard as hell actually, but who else is going to do it if you don't? As a parent, it is your responsibility to care and provide for your kids. Some days, I know you feel like giving up or think that if you could go back and do things differently, you would, but you have to realize that God placed you in the position to be a parent for a reason.

There are plenty of people out here that wish they could conceive, but can’t – and this fact alone makes me stop complaining about how hard it is, and appreciate the opportunity to be the caretaker of not one, but two, beautiful blessings.

I'm a single mom, and I'm actually okay with that. I don't care to argue and fight with my kids' sperm donors, so I only communicate with them as needed (which is pretty much never). My son's dad doesn't do anything for his son, so we have no reason to communicate unless it's about our pending divorce. My daughter's dad helps out here and there, but it in no way amounts to everything I do for her overall. If it fair? No, but neither is life, and life goes on blissfully. Does it upset me? Not at all. I can't possibly sit around wasting time being mad at my kids' other parents for not contributing when my kids actually know me and love me – this triumphs anything.

At the end of the day, you can’t sit at home crying or worrying about what the other parent is NOT doing. God has a way of handling people without you ever having to be involved.

God specifically addresses individuals not caring for their offspring in the Bible. 1 Timothy 5: 8 states, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." That alone should be enough motivation to do your part as a parent and not worry about the rest.

You have to remember that kids are very smart and are aware of what's going on. Kids can feel vibes just as we adults do. Kids know when they are neglected and they know when you haven't displayed love towards them. You can't fake memories and experiences when they are older. As kids grow, memories with you as a parent are all they have to reflect on. If you miss the important times in their life, don't expect to come in later and act like you have been there all along. Sorry, but it does not work that way.

Anyone absent from their kids life is truly missing out on witnessing their biggest blessing (their kids) grow and mature.

Watching your kids' personalities develop, seeing them smile, laugh, and become more and more like you is such an amazing feeling. It's honestly not a feeling that you can't describe using words. You heart becomes so full, and the problems of the outside world seem to not even matter when you experience the joy and warmth of watching your seeds grow.

Kids tend to copy behavioral patterns of those that they are around, and it tickles my soul to see my 5 year old reenact and say some of the things she has picked up from me. My son is only 8 months old, and already starting to learn to walk. He likes to pull hair, and he bites (yes... he will literally bite you with his little teeth) lol. Moments like this can't be replaced nor fabricated. They are so fulfilling in the moment to where any problem that you think you have, won't even matter.

No matter how hard being a parent might seem, please remember that God will never give you more than you can bear.

If you feel like you have too much on your plate, just keep in mind that you were given the task of being a parent because you are able to handle it. Stop trying to do everything at once. Learn to prioritize your life so that you can accomplish everything you need to without becoming overwhelmed or neglecting the little humans that need you the most.

Be active in your kids life while they are young, and be happy. Pray for the absent parent, and move on with your life. Kids grow up super fast, and the moments you are missing cannot be replaced.